


Stillness Shattered

by SunriseRose1023



Series: When You Come Back To Me Again [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Living Together, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-31 22:32:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17858228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunriseRose1023/pseuds/SunriseRose1023
Summary: You’ve been in a secret relationship with Steve Rogers for years. Secret mainly because of the life he leads as Captain America, and the sure disapproval your father, Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross, would give if he knew. While you've settled into a comfortable existence, you should have known not to get too complacent.





	Stillness Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> Settle in and buckle up kiddos, because this here is angsty, y'all. This is the first installment of a series I've been posting on Tumblr. More parts are on the way, but this one's going to be rough.

You stood in the kitchen, today’s mail in your hand. You studied the envelopes, tossing the junk ones onto the counter. You set the few you were holding onto the counter, away from the junk pile, and went to open one of the letters. You went still, a smile coming to your lips as two hands slid over your hips, pulling you backwards just a bit, until you were pressed against a solid wall of muscle. Lips pressed to your neck and you sighed, closing your eyes at the warmth that suddenly surrounded you.

“Hey, you.”

The only answer you received was another kiss to your neck, fingers moving your shirt out of the way so the lips could dance over your shoulder.

“Good day, Cap?”

Steve grunted, making you laugh as you turned in his arms to face him. You gasped when you got a good look at him and he sighed.

“Looks worse than it is.”  
“Are you kidding me?”

You laid your hands on his dirty face, gently moving it where you wanted as you studied his split lip and the cut above his eyebrow.

“I’m almost healed.”  
“Just hush.”

He did as you said, sitting in one of the chairs at the table as you grabbed the first aid kit you kept under the kitchen sink.

“It’s really not necessary—“  
“Humor me.”

Steve sighed, grimacing as he tugged his T-shirt off. You winced when you saw the bruising to his rib cage, shaking your head as you wet a cotton ball with alcohol. He flinched when you pressed the cotton ball against the cut on his forehead, relaxing when you pursed your lips and gently blew on the sting. He closed his eyes, hands coming to your hips as you wiped the dirt from his face and “patched him up” as best you could. The serum had almost healed him completely before you were done.

When you closed the first aid kit, you sighed as Steve tugged at your hips. You climbed into his lap, resting your head against his neck. His thick arms came around you, wrapping you in warmth, and you gave a long exhale, murmuring against his skin.

“I love you.”

Steve smiled.

“I love you too. And I’m sorry.”  
“For what?”  
“Showing up like this and worrying you.”

You sighed, keeping your arms around his neck as you pulled back and looked into his gorgeous eyes. You shrugged your shoulders.

“Goes with the territory.”

A small smile came to his lips as you moved a hand to brush through his hair.

“Dating Captain America and all.”  
“Dating? Is that what we’re doing?”

You couldn’t stop the smile.

“Sneaking around?”

Steve rolled his eyes and you giggled.

“Hey, you’re the one who has a problem with it.”  
“Well, if your dad was anyone but the Secretary of State…”  
“And if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass every time he jumped.”

You rolled your eyes, laughing when Steve pinched your side. He caught your lips in a kiss, resting his forehead against yours. You closed your eyes, smiling as you spoke softly.

“Sorry about the bad language.”  
“Oh, don’t you even start.”

You laughed, shifting in his lap and laying your hands on his face, tugging his head down and pressing your lips against his forehead. He shook his head, meeting your eyes again.

“Did Tony tell everyone that story?”  
“Maria.”

Steve shook his head and you smiled.

“It’s sweet. Reminds me just how old-fashioned you are.”  
“Emphasis on the ‘old?’”  
“You said it, not me.”

You squealed as he pinched your sides again, wiggling on his lap. You glared at him, and he smiled at you. You leaned in and kissed him, relaxing when his arms surrounded you, enclosing you in warmth. Steve moved his hands under your thighs, holding tightly as he stood up. You wrapped your legs around his waist, moving to kiss under his jaw as he walked down the hall to your bedroom.

You yawned as you blinked your eyes open, pulling the covers closer around you as you stretched and glanced around the room. You smiled a sleepy smile when you saw Steve standing in the bathroom doorway, leaning against it with a smile on his face and a towel wrapped around his waist. Water droplets glistened on his chest, dripping from his hair, slipping down his toned abdomen and disappearing into the towel. You reached out a hand for him and he smiled, walking to you and taking your hand as he climbed in the bed with you, hovering over you and kissing your lips.

You pushed a hand through his wet hair and smiled.

“You were supposed to wait on me.”  
“You looked so peaceful. I just couldn’t wake you.”

You smiled, closing your eyes as he kissed your chin and down your neck. The breath hitched in your throat and Steve smiled as he gently sucked a mark into your skin. You moved your hands to his face, pulling him up to where you could kiss his lips again. Your hands danced down to his hips, tugging the towel free, smiling when he grabbed hold of it and flung it towards the bathroom.

You laughed and he pulled back, raising an eyebrow at you. You shook your head, biting your bottom lip.

“I just had this vision of everything in my bathroom coming crashing down, mirror broken to bits.”

Steve smiled, shaking his head.

“Give me some credit, babe. I’m not the Hulk.”  
“Shame.”

Your eyes widened and your mouth opened when he looked to you, a shocked expression on his face. You couldn’t keep up the charade, and you laughed, squealing when his fingers dug into your sides.

“I was kidding!”  
“You think you’re so funny.”  
“I give! I give, uncle,  _please_!”

Steve leaned back, looking down at you. A half smile was on his lips, normally perfectly-coiffed hair disheveled, pieces hanging down on his forehead. You swallowed, blinking as he leaned down, looking into his eyes as he pressed his lips to yours. He deepened the kiss and your eyes drifted closed, hands coming to card through his still-damp hair before resting on his back.

You wrapped your robe around you, tying the belt and bending at the waist, twisting your wet hair into a towel. You walked to the sink and picked up your moisturizer, smiling when Steve stepped into the bathroom, yawning widely.

“Good morning, Cap.”

Steve grunted, making you laugh as he made his way to the sink. You leaned over and kissed his cheek, moving out of his way as he turned the water on and splashed his face. He yawned again and you rubbed the lotion over your face.

“Coffee should be ready soon.”

Steve nodded, propping his hands on the counter and hanging his head. You glanced to him and spoke softly.

“Honey? Are you okay?”

He lifted his head, looking into the mirror at his reflection before meeting your eyes.

“I just … I don’t know. I have this feeling.”  
“What kind of feeling?”

He shook his head.

“I don’t know.”

He held out an arm and you stepped over, wrapping your arms around his torso as he turned his head and kissed your temple.

“It’s okay, Steve.”  
“It’s like … deep in my gut. I don’t know, babe.”  
“Breathe.”

He did as you said, turning and wrapping you in a hug. You closed your eyes, holding him as tightly as he held you. After a few minutes, he spoke softly, keeping his arms around you.

“I’m going to call in.”  
“What?”  
“You can too, and we’ll just stay here.”  
“Steve.”

You pulled back enough to look at him.

“I can’t call in. I own the place.”  
“Doesn’t mean you can’t take a day off.”  
“Honey. A day off could close the shop.”

Steve huffed out a breath and you sighed. You stepped away from him, picking up your foundation and dabbing a little bit onto your hand. Steve crossed his arms over his chest and you let out a laugh as you rubbed the makeup onto your skin.

“Stop trying to intimidate me.”  
“I’m not.”  
“Then stop trying to bully me into doing what you want.”  
“I’m not doing that either.”  
“Bullshit.”

His blue eyes widened and you looked into the mirror, pointing at it, but towards him.

“You get all bowed up, tensing those mouthwatering muscles. Your eyes go sharp and everyone bows to Captain America. I know you. That doesn’t work on me.”

Steve clenched his jaw, then narrowed his eyes as he let his arms fall.

“My muscles are mouthwatering? Really?”  
“Oh, shut up.”

Steve laughed, moving to stand behind you, watching as you brushed powder onto your face.

“I don’t get why dames like you wear stuff like this. You’re beautiful without it.”

You met his eyes in the mirror, smiling when he winked at you. You reached back and tapped the brush against his nose, giggling when it wrinkled and his hand came up to brush the dreaded makeup away.

“You may think I’m beautiful, but society does not. I don’t want to scare any small children.”

Steve rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to go get some coffee. Cream and sugar in yours?”  
“There’s some hazelnut creamer in the fridge.”

He gave you a thumbs up and you picked up your eye shadow as he left the bathroom.

Steve stood up after he tied his shoes, blowing out a breath. He shook his head, still feeling the itch between his shoulder blades that he’d woken up with. You came into his vision, fastening your earrings, and he couldn’t help the smile that slid onto his lips as he held out a hand for you. You smiled as you laid your hand in his, laughing when he brought your hand to his lips.

He pulled you to him, kissing the top of your head. You sighed, looking up at him and waiting until he looked down at you. You went up on your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his, one hand resting against his freshly shaven cheek. Steve stared into your eyes, smiling as he murmured to you.

“Be careful today.”

You nodded, replying just as softly.

“You be careful.”  
“Always.”  
“Liar.”

Steve chuckled, taking your face in his hands and kissing you. He pulled back just enough to rest his forehead on yours, and you smiled, keeping your eyes closed, moving your hands up and down the thick muscles in his arms.

“I’ll see you later, Steve. Hey, how about I cook us something for supper?”  
“What?”  
“What do you want?”

Steve smiled.

“Surprise me.”  
“That could be a dangerous game, Cap.”  
“Well, I trust you.”

You smiled, your reply cut off by his lips pressing to yours again. You moved your hand to brush through the hair on the back of his head, sighing happily into the kiss.

“I love you.”  
“I love you, Steve.”

He kissed your lips once more, then pressed a kiss to your forehead. He took your hand and held it as the two of you walked to your garage, opening the door for you as you climbed into your car. He leaned over the window as you started the car, then stuck his head in once you rolled the window down.

“If you need me…”  
“I’ve got you on speed dial.”

Steve nodded and you reached over, laying your hand on his.

“I’m fine. I’ll keep an eye out today, and give you a full debriefing when I see you tonight.”

You leaned closer to him, giving him a lascivious wink.

“Pun intended.”

Steve groaned, leaning his head back, but smiling widely.

“You’re awful.”  
“I have my moments.”

He poked his head in the window, kissing you once more. He tapped the car door and you rolled the window up, backing the car out of the driveway. At the end of your street, you smiled as you heard the roar of his motorcycle, heading in the opposite direction.

You glanced up as the bell over the door rang, a smile coming to your face as your sister came into your sight.

“Betty!”

She smiled as she walked over, leaning over the counter to embrace you and giving you a kiss on the cheek. You held her at arm’s length, shaking your head.

“When did you get back in town?”  
“An hour ago. I got off the plane, set my bags down at home and said ‘I need to take my little sister to lunch.’ Is it possible?”  
“Today? Absolutely. We’re so slow it’s not funny.”

The smile on Betty’s face lit up the shop. You locked the front door, flipping the “OPEN” sign around. Betty looped her arm through yours and the two of you walked down the street to a little cafe. The hostess sat you at a little table in the back of the cafe, and once you had a sip of water, you turned to your sister.

“So tell me about Paris.”  
“It’s gorgeous. It was a little rainy, but I didn’t mind. It fit.”

You sighed, smiling at the waitress as she walked up. You and Betty put your orders in, and when the waitress left, you spoke softly.

“Have you spoken to him?”

Betty shook her head, and you sighed. She lifted her eyes to yours and shrugged a shoulder.

“I spoke to him once while I was in Paris.”

You waited, watching her stare at the tabletop.

“And?”  
“And nothing. He’s in Marrakech or something, and he’s fine. I’m fine, and there’s nothing else to talk about.”

Betty lifted her head and smiled as the waitress refilled her water glass. When she walked away, you tilted your head at your sister. She shook her head, a smile on her lips as tears filled her eyes.

“Don’t. Don’t look at me like that.”  
“Like what?”  
“Like you pity me.”  
“I don’t pity you. I just … I know how you felt about him. How you  _feel_. It can’t be easy.”

Betty let out a laugh, reaching for a napkin and dabbing at her eyes.

“Can we  _please_ talk about something else?”

You reached across the table and laid your hand on hers. You nodded and she cleared her throat as she dabbed the napkin at her eyes again.

“How are things with you?”  
“Good. The shop’s doing okay. Not too busy, but that’s okay.”  
“And aside from the shop?”

You shrugged your shoulders, glancing at the tabletop.

“Same old, same old.”  
“Hang on.”

You lifted your eyes and a smile spread over Betty’s plump lips.

“You’re hiding something.”  
“What?! I am not.”  
“Oh, you big fat liar.”

Your eyes widened, mouth popping open, and you shook your head. Betty pursed her lips, nodding her head.

“You are shit at lying.”  
“I am not. Dad still thinks a rogue shopping cart at the supermarket put that dent into his car back when we were in high school.”  
“Okay, I’ll give you that one. But you are absolute shit at lying to  _me_.”

You sighed, leaning back in your chair as the waitress brought your food to the table. Betty laced her fingers together, setting her elbows on the table and resting her chin on her hands. You sighed again, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Who is he?”

You opened your eyes, biting your lip. Betty’s eyes sparkled as she kept pushing.

“Do I know him?”  
“You know of him. Everyone knows  _of_ him.”

You muttered the last part under your breath, and Betty raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not like a celebrity, is it?”

You let out a breath.

“Kind of?”  
“‘Kind of?’ What do you mean by ‘kind of?’ He either is or he isn’t.”

You sighed.

“Betty–”  
“Give me a hint.”  
“No.”

You took a bite of your food and she raised an eyebrow at you.

“The way you’re acting, you’d think you were dating Jesus or something. Or Captain America, wouldn’t that be a hoot?”

Your eyes widened before you could stop yourself, and you shook your head slightly before looking up at her. Betty’s eyes were wide, and her mouth was open in a shocked “O.”

“What the fuck, Y/N?!”  
“Calm down.”  
“You’re dating–”  
“Hush, Betty.”

She blinked multiple times, sitting back in her chair.

“Are you serious?”

You nodded.

“How long?”

You made a face, and Betty’s eyes raged as she leaned forward.

“Tell me this is a new thing.”  
“Betty…”  
“Oh my god.”

She shook her head.

“How long?!”  
“Can you keep your voice down, please?”

She pressed her lips together, clearly waiting for your answer. You gave a shaky exhale, then spoke softly.

“It … started after the Battle of New York.”  
“The Battle of–Y/N. That was years ago!”  
“We took it slow. Very,  _very_ slow.”

She sat back in her chair, eyes wide as she slowly shook her head.

“I can’t believe you.”

You sighed.

“I didn’t plan it out. He came into the shop one day and … we talked. He kept coming in and we kept talking. A few months after that, he asked me to go for coffee with him.”

You shrugged.

“We became friends. I taught him how to text and now he won’t leave me alone.”

You smiled as you lifted your eyes from the tablecloth to your sister, your brows furrowing, smile disappearing when you saw the look on her face.

“Betty?”

She shook her head.

“You didn’t tell me.”  
“I didn’t tell anyone.”  
“But you didn’t tell  _me_ , Y/N. You tell me everything.”

You looked down at your hands, then met her eyes again.

“We thought it would be easier to just keep it to ourselves. You were so caught up in Bruce and trying to help him. I didn’t need you keeping my secret in the midst of that.”

Betty turned to look out the window and you sighed.

“He needed someone outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the government that he could decompress with. I didn’t deliberately keep it from you. He asked me to just let him have time with me away from it all, and I couldn’t tell him no.”

You looked down at your hands again.

“Plus, we knew Dad would freak.”  
“That’s putting it lightly.”

You nodded, and Betty sighed.

“Y/N. Look at me.”

You shook your head and she sighed again, reaching across the table and holding out her hand. After a moment, you put your hand in hers and she spoke softly.

“I know you didn’t do it to hurt me.”  
“That’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”

Betty sighed.

“It’s just … hard to hear that … someone’s taken my place as your best friend.”

You lifted your head and she gave you a soft smile.

“Even if that person is Captain America.”  
“Betty, you’re my best friend. You always have been.”  
“Honey, it’s okay.”

She gave your hand a squeeze.

“The person you love is supposed to be your best friend. It’s okay. It’s just … a lot.”

You nodded, sniffling as tears came to your eyes. Betty let out a laugh, shaking her head as she blinked back tears of her own.

“Jesus. Look at us. This is supposed to be a happy thing and we’re like a couple of babies.”

You gave a watery laugh, lifting your napkin to dab at your eyes. Betty shook her head, eyes still sparkling as she smiled at you.

“Tell me about him. Not what the public knows. Something only you know.”

You licked your lips as you thought, then smiled.

“He can’t work a toaster.”  
“What?”

You shook your head.

“It doesn’t matter if I load the bread into the slots. If he presses the lever down, whatever is inside will burn. I’ve tested this theory many times. The final time, with flames shooting out the thing was the best.”

Betty’s eyes were wide as you giggled.

“He had to throw his shield on top of it to put out the fire.”

Betty laughed at that.

“Oh my god.”  
“I take care of the cooking and he does everything else.”  
“Everything else?”

You nodded.

“He’s very old-fashioned. Obviously. He opens doors for me, pulls my chair out. Rubs my feet at night.”

Betty blinked.

“Has he … moved in with you?”

You nodded.

“More or less. And that was a long, long discussion. Months long. The old-fashioned thing. People didn’t live together without being married in his time. And he …”

You shrugged your shoulders, looking up at Betty.

“He’s afraid it would be too dangerous for us to get married. He thinks I’d be in danger if people knew I was his girl.”  
“Wow.”

Betty shook her head.

“This is more serious than I thought.”

You nodded, smiling as you looked down at your hands.

“Plus, he wants to ask Dad first and since Dad kind of hates him and the rest of the Avengers…”  
“Oh jeez.”

You nodded again, and Betty rolled her eyes.

“He’s got to get over that.”  
“Steve or Dad?”  
“Dad. And it’s so cute that you call him ‘Steve.’”

You rolled your eyes, then sighed.

“I better get back to the shop.”

Betty made a face, but nodded.

“I should probably go see Dad, let him know I’m back.”

You nodded, gathering your purse.

“Betty, I … I know this is unnecessary, but…”  
“I won’t say anything. As long as you  _promise_ me I can be there when you do tell the General. Those are some fireworks I would  _kill_ to witness.”

You rolled your eyes, but held out your hand, last finger extended. Betty laughed, then linked her pinky with yours.

“You’re the best, little sister.”  
“Yeah, whatever.”

Betty giggled, wrapping you up in her arms. You let out a sigh.

“I’m glad you’re back.”  
“Me too.”  
“Maybe I can get you over for dinner one night. Let you and Steve get properly acquainted.”  
“Make it happen.”

You snorted, giving her one more squeeze before you left the restaurant, making your way back to the shop.

You were in the back section of the shop, standing on your tiptoes, pushing a box onto a high shelf. Not for the first time, you wondered what it might look like to hire Steve—Captain America working at a local small business. Might boost his already-high morale, not to mention it would make the heavy lifting so much easier on you.

The bell over the door rang and you went back on your flat feet.

“I’ll be with you in just a second!”

You brushed your hands off, making your way to the front of the store, where a man stood with his back to you. By the way he was standing, you could tell he was or had been in the military. Growing up with General “Thunderbolt” Ross as your father gave you all sorts of insight. You smiled, wiping your hands on the apron you wore.

“Hi there. Can I help you find something?”

The man turned around, and your eyes widened, mouth falling open when you saw the half of his face that was puckered and scarred, clearly having been burned. He stepped forward and drew the blinds over the door, and you went still as heavy footsteps sounded behind you. The man turned back to you, a menacing smile on his grotesque face.

“Actually … I found exactly what I need.”

Steve hung his head as he dropped the phone onto the couch beside him. He ran his hands over his face, teeth clenched together. Y/N’s phone had gone to voicemail all three times he’d tried to call her.

He shook his head, pocketing the phone and walking back to the garage. He opened the door and walked his motorcycle out, firing it up and driving to her shop.

The shop was dark, blinds closed on the door. Steve parked the motorcycle and walked to the window, cupping his hands on it and trying to see inside. He huffed out a breath, putting his hands on his hips. He reached for the door, giving an experimental tug.

His blood ran cold when the door opened, the bell giving a weak jingle.

He stepped inside, hand going to the light switch and flipping it on. His mouth dropped open, shoulders heaving with the painful breaths leaving his lungs. Panic settled in the middle of his chest and he closed his eyes, trying not to scream and ruin the store more than it already was. He flinched as something crashed in the back, and he made his way there, stepping over broken pieces of shelving and merchandise, only to find the high shelf he’d installed barely attached to the wall, a box on the ground.

He closed his eyes again, shaky hand pulling the phone from his pocket. He punched in a number, holding his other hand to the back of his head.

“Nat.”

His voice was strangled, and he couldn’t get any words out other than Natasha’s name. He stayed on the line anyway, knowing she’d ping his location and be there in less than five minutes.

Natasha slammed the car door, pulling the gun from her waistband and pointing it as she made her way into the shop. The bell rang as she pushed open the door, and her heart dropped when she saw Steve on his knees in the midst of complete destruction.

Natasha lowered her gun, slipping it back in its holster. Steve looked over to her, tears in his blue eyes. She blinked, shaking her head as she looked around, carefully stepping over broken board and beams, laying a hand on his shoulder.

“What happened?”

Steve shook his head. Natasha narrowed her eyes as she studied her surroundings.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was almost like …”

She swallowed, and Steve lowered his head. She shook her head.

“Bruce is in Marrakech, but this … it looks like the Hulk was here.”

Steve swallowed, closing his eyes as Natasha gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“Talk to me, Cap.”

Steve gave a shaky exhale.

“The owner of this shop.”  
“Y/N Ross?”

Steve looked up at her again, confusion in his eyes. Natasha gently went on.

“I researched on the way over here. Younger daughter of Thaddeus Ross, former Army General, current Secretary Of State. Younger sister of Dr. Elizabeth, “Betty,” Ross.”

Steve slowly nodded again.

“And my … I don’t know. ‘Girlfriend’ seems cheap compared to what she really is.”  
“I’m sorry, what?”

Steve ran a hand over his face, slowly getting to his feet. He glanced down, seeing the incredulous look on Natasha’s face.

“Y/N Ross is … my everything.”  
“Steve.”  
“And now she’s missing.”


End file.
